Enough is Enough

Ok so after six long years of marriage I've come to the unmistakable conclusion that my husband and I have no idea how to communicate. Our issue of the week is babies. My husband has expressed to me that he would like more children and my answer to that is definitely not. Early in our marriage I let him know that I had no desire to have children after thirty and I still feel that way today. For four long days we've not had much to talk about. He's been rather distant and I guess I can understand why. The question here is how does one deal with such issues without allowing those issues to destroy the marriage. There has to be some sort of compromise. What we decided to do was give it another year to see if he still feels the same about having children. This sounds like a plan right now but I'm terrified to see what next year will bring. While the distance between us is coming to an end the questions and concerns still remain. Hopefully we can meet in the middle.

How Ironic, I love you but....

The problem with most relationships is that couples just don't know how to communicate. Take me for instance. I miss my husband so much when we're apart but when we're together I can't seem to keep my attitude in check long enough for us to get along. I have a problem with speaking "with him" as an equal and not "to him" like a child. I realize that I have this problem however I have no idea how to correct it.

Maybe it's built up anger or resentment that forces women to respond to their men negatively. The constant images that play over and over again in our minds of hurtful moments from the past. The one thing that we should all remember is that we are still with these men for a reason and whatever that reason is we have to forgive, forget and allow those old wounds to heal. It's the only way to hold a relationship together.

You're listening but are you really paying attention?

Most men come equip with this amazing mechanism that allows them to appear as if they're hearing every word a woman is saying without actually paying any attention at all. Could it be that men simply think that what a woman has to say is really unimportant or could it be that women present what they have to say in such a way that men are forced to turn a deaf ear? Either way listening to what your lady has to say allows her to get some things off her chest and shows her that you are concerned about her feelings. Men I know it's hard for you to really focus especially when you feel like your woman is nagging or that you're being attacked but if you allow her feelings to be your top priority eventually a lot of your relationship issues will disappear.

I talked to a gentleman earlier today that had been married for 31 years, he told me that the secret to a successful partnership is communication and honesty. Immediately I started to wonder if he had ever grown so annoyed with his wife that he just had to stop listening in order to keep the peace in their household. Maybe he was right, maybe communication is key but for communication to work both parties has to not just listen but also pay attention to what the other party has to say.

Introduction

When I first came up with the idea to do a blog about women, men and marriage in general I wanted my blog to be a place where women could come to vent about their troubled relationships but after careful consideration I decided that it should be for everyone. Being a 30 year old married woman myself I know that the reason I face some of the issues in my own marriage is because I don't really understand my husband and therefore being the wife that he needs me to be is almost impossible. I'll be the first to admit that I don't know half of the things that men want and I don't understand half of the things they need so instead of making this just another spot to male bash why don't we (women) talk about our issues and just maybe we can get some much needed male perspective.